{"id":8015,"date":"2023-11-04T16:37:54","date_gmt":"2023-11-04T16:37:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/naturalhealing-clinic.com\/?p=8015"},"modified":"2024-01-22T21:40:08","modified_gmt":"2024-01-22T21:40:08","slug":"how-to-help-someone-suffering-with-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/naturalhealing-clinic.com\/index.php\/2023\/11\/04\/how-to-help-someone-suffering-with-anxiety\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Help Someone Suffering With Anxiety"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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How You Can Help the People You Love When They Need It Most<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Sometimes just being there is enough \u2013 Unknown<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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How to Help Someone Suffering With Anxiety: It felt like I couldn\u2019t breathe. Like someone was holding me by the neck, against a wall, and the floor might drop from beneath us at any moment.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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I\u2019m describing a panic attack, but this has actually happened to me before\u2014being held by the neck against a wall, that is, not the other part. Growing up I experienced many moments like that, moments when I felt unsafe, physically and emotionally.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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There were countless experiences that reinforced to me, over the years, that I couldn\u2019t let my guard down, because at any moment I could be hurt. So I learned to be constantly anxious, eternally on guard, ever ready for a threat.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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I learned to be tightly wound, my fight-or-flight response permanently triggered. And I learned to see minor threats as major problems, because that\u2019s another thing I learned as a kid: Sometimes seemingly small things could make other people snap.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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\u00a0Unsurprisingly, I grew into an adult who snapped over small things all the time. Got bleach on my interview outfit? No one will ever hire me now! She doesn\u2019t want to be my friend? Why doesn\u2019t anyone love me? Found a suspicious lump? I\u2019m going to die!<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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How to Help Someone Suffering With Anxiety<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Anxiety can adversely affect a person\u2019s life\n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Okay, so that last one isn\u2019t actually a \u201csmall thing,\u201d but the point is I was constantly scared. Life was a string of lions to tame, and I lived in a land without chairs. I believe my early experiences, being bullied in varied environments, led to my years of depression and anxiety. For you or your loved one, there may be other causes.\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Some people are genetically predisposed to anxiety, some struggle because of stressful circumstances, and for some, physical conditions play a role. But this isn\u2019t a post about what causes anxiety. This is a post about what not to say when someone\u2019s panicking.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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How to Help Someone Suffering With Anxiety<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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What Can You do to Help Someone Experiencing an Anxiety Attack?\n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Anxiety can completely overwhelm your mind and body, and we often exacerbate our pain by being cruel to ourselves in our head. \u201cGet it together!\u201d we scream at ourselves. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with you? Why are you such a mess?\u201d But none of these thoughts are helpful. Though the people who love us are generally not as cruel, they sometimes say less than helpful things as well, solely because they don\u2019t know any better.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Being tough on ourselves only makes it worse\n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Even as someone who has experienced anxiety, I have said some of the things below to people who were struggling, because I felt powerless. And when you feel powerless, it\u2019s hard to think straight. All you know is that you want to fix it for them. You want to have answers. But sometimes when we\u2019re in fix-it mode, despite our best intentions, we inadvertently add fuel to the fire.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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How to Help Someone Suffering With Anxiety:
So, as someone who\u2019s been on both sides of the coin, I\u2019d like to share some phrases to avoid when someone is dealing with anxiety, and offer a little insight into\u00a0what actually helps.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Things Not to Say to Someone Who\u2019s Struggling with Anxiety.<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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1. What you\u2019re stressing about won\u2019t even matter in a year.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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In many cases, this is true. If someone\u2019s worrying about a minor car accident, it\u2019s entirely likely what they\u2019re stressing about won\u2019t really matter in the grand scheme of things. But this isn\u2019t a universally true statement. A minor accident could lead to major car trouble, which could lead to missing work, which could lead to lost pay, which could lead to getting evicted. And that could very well matter in a year. Is this chain of events likely? No, but it\u2019s still possible.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Validating fears and affirming that the person is safe is helpful for someone having a panic attack.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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It\u2019s not reassuring to tell someone the worst-case scenario won\u2019t happen because sometimes, it does. But more importantly, in that moment when someone is in the midst of anxiety, it feels catastrophic, and you can\u2019t rationalize those feelings away\u2014at least not immediately. When someone is panicking, they don\u2019t need logic; they need validation. They need validation that yes, life is uncertain and \u201cbad\u201d things do happen, and validation that it\u2019s okay to feel scared.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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They also need a reminder that in this moment, they are safe. And that\u2019s all they need to think about right now: breathing and grounding themselves in this moment in time. <\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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2. Life\u2019s too short to worry.
How to Help Someone Suffering With Anxiety-<\/p>

All this does is create more anxiety, because in addition to whatever that person was initially stressing about, they now have to worry that they\u2019re missing out on life because of an emotional response that feels beyond their control.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Anxiety can leave us feeling stuck –<\/p>

Yes, life is short. And we all naturally want to make the most of it. But you wouldn\u2019t tell a diabetic \u201cLife is too short to have too much sugar in your blood.\u201d Sure, you\u2019d encourage them to make healthy food choices, but you\u2019d realize this phrasing would vastly oversimplify the effort required from them to manage their condition and maintain healthy habits. The same is true of anxiety. Anyone who\u2019s struggled with it understands there are far better ways to live, and this knowledge pains them. What they may not know is how to help themselves.<\/p>

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3. Calm down.<\/p>

\u201cCalm down\u201d is the goal, not the action step. It\u2019s what we all want to do when we\u2019re panicking. It\u2019s the shore in the distance, and it can feel miles away as we gasp for air in the undertow of emotion and struggle to stay afloat.
Someone overwhelmed by anxiety will likely not be able to comprehend advice.<\/p>

How to Help Someone Suffering With Anxiety-<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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If you know any good methods that help you calm yourself\u2014deep breathing exercises, for example\u2014by all means, share them. But it\u2019s probably best not to get into much detail in the moment when someone is panicking. Imagine someone hanging off a cliff, about to fall into a pit full of tigers. That\u2019s what anxiety can feel like.<\/span>
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If you were to stand at the edge and scream, \u201cCOME TO YOGA WITH ME TOMORROW! DID YOU KNOW THAT YOGA CAN HELP YOU\u2026\u201d that person would likely be too consumed by their terror to hear you or your convincing argument. What they need to hear in that moment is \u201cTake my hand!\u201d And the same is true of anxiety. Hold their hand. Help them breathe. Help them come back into the moment. Then, when they feel safe, that\u2019s a good time to tell them what\u2019s helped you.
That\u2019s another important thing to remember: We all want to hear what\u2019s helped other people deal, not what someone who\u2019s never experienced our struggles has read about. Share your experience, not your expertise. None of us need a guru; we need friends who aren\u2019t afraid to be vulnerable.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Once someone is ready, it can be helpful to hear what has helped you through your own similar experience<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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4. It\u2019s no big deal.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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This comes back to the first point: In that moment, it feels like a big deal. A very big deal. It feels like the biggest, scariest, worst thing that could happen, and you can\u2019t turn that fear off like a switch.
When someone says, \u201cIt\u2019s not a big deal,\u201d the anxious mind translates this as \u201cYou\u2019re overreacting\u2014which is further proof that you\u2019re broken.\u201d Instead, try, \u201cI know it\u2019s hard. And scary. But you\u2019re not alone. I\u2019m here to help you get through this.\u201d It\u2019s amazing how much it helps when someone reinforces that it\u2019s okay to be scared\u2014it\u2019s human, even\u2014but we don\u2019t have to face it alone.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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5. It\u2019s all in your head.
How to Help Someone Suffering With Anxiety-<\/p>

Yes, thoughts and fears all originate in our head, but that doesn\u2019t make our feelings any less real. The anxious mind translates \u201cIt\u2019s all in your head\u201d as \u201cYour head is defective,\u201d because knowing that thoughts fuel anxiety doesn\u2019t make it any easier to stop thinking anxious thoughts.<\/p>

Instead of fighting our anxious thoughts, try accepting and disengaging from them.<\/p>

When we\u2019re thinking anxious thoughts, what we need is a reminder that they often arise naturally\u2014for all of us. We don\u2019t need to worry about changing them. We just need to practice accepting them when they arise and disengaging from them. So try this instead: \u201cI can understand why you\u2019re thinking those thoughts. I\u2019d probably think some of the same things if I were in your shoes. If you want, you can tell me all your anxious thoughts. They\u2019re trying to protect you in their own way, so maybe they just need to be heard and then they\u2019ll quiet a bit.\u201d<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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6. Let it go.<\/p>

I have, over the years, written many posts with advice on letting go. I believe it\u2019s healthy to strive to let go of anger, resentment, fears, the past, and anything else that compromises our ability to be happy and loving in the present.<\/p>

Letting go is a constant practise.<\/p>

I think, though, letting go is something we may need to do repeatedly. It\u2019s a practice, not a one-time decision, and certainly not something we\u2019re well equipped to do in a moment when we\u2019re gripped by fear.
Jon Kabat-Zinn wrote.
It\u2019s not a matter of letting go\u2014you would if you could. Instead of \u2018Let it go\u2019 we should probably say \u2018Let it be\u2019.<\/span><\/p>

That\u2019s what we need in the moment when we\u2019re panicking: We need to give those feelings permission to exist. We need to give ourselves permissions to be a human being experiencing those feelings. And we need to know the people around us love us enough to accept us as we are\u2014even if it might make them feel more comfortable if we were better able to just \u201clet it go.\u201d<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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7. Things could be so much worse.<\/p>

Yes, things could always be worse, we all know this. Like many statements on this list, this phrase does little other than evoke guilt. And for the anxious mind, guilt can lead to more anxiety.<\/p>

Guilt only exacerbates anxiety.<\/p>

Now, on top of their initial fears, they\u2019re worrying that they\u2019re not a good person because they can\u2019t rationalize their anxiety away with gratitude. I\u2019m not suggesting that it never helps to put things in perspective, but coming from someone else, this almost always sounds condescending. Condescension leads most of us to feel inferior, and it\u2019s even worse when we\u2019re already feeling ashamed because of our struggle, as many of us do.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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8. Be positive.<\/p>

Anxiety isn\u2019t just about negativity. For many of us, like me, it\u2019s a learned response from a traumatic past in which we felt persistently unsafe. You can train your brain to be more optimistic, and in doing so, minimize anxious thoughts. But this involves far more time, effort, and support than the phrase \u201cbe positive\u201d conveys.<\/p>

It\u2019s not easy to switch to positivity when you\u2019re consumed by anxiety<\/p>

Also, \u201cbe positive\u201d suggests that \u201cpositive\u201d is something one can become\u2014permanently\u2014which ignores the reality that lows are inevitable in life. No one is positive all the time, and often the people who seem to be are actually being passive-aggressive. Phrases like \u201cLook on the bright side\u201d and \u201cSee the glass as half full\u201d can seem incredibly patronizing when you\u2019re hurting. They minimize just how hard it can be to see the world optimistically, especially when you\u2019ve experienced trauma.<\/p>

How to Help Someone Suffering With Anxiety-<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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So instead, show them what it looks like to be positive. Be loving and open and calm and accepting and supportive and present. This probably won\u2019t heal them of their struggle or banish their anxiety in the moment when they\u2019re panicking, but it\u2019s amazing how you can affect someone for the better by being a healthy mirror.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Compassion and a listening ear go a long way.<\/p>

After reading this list, you might think I\u2019m suggesting there is no way to heal from anxiety; we just need to help people accept it and get through it. But that\u2019s not actually my point. There are tools out there to help people. I personally recommend therapy, yoga, and meditation, as these three tools combined have helped me learn to better regulate my emotions. My point is that even when someone is making the efforts to help themselves, it takes time; they may still struggle, and in those moments they simply need love, acceptance, and, support.<\/p>

If you\u2019ve said some of these things in the past, know that we recognize you\u2019re imperfect, just like us, but we still appreciate all that you do. We also appreciate that you read articles like this to better understand and support us. The world can be a scary place, but knowing that people like you care enough to help us, makes it feel a whole lot safer.<\/p>

Natural Healing Clinic<\/a><\/p>

Hypnotherapy School<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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How You Can Help the People You Love When They Need It Most Sometimes just being […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8026,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"default","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8015","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Help Someone Suffering With Anxiety - Natural Healing Clinic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How to Help Someone Suffering With Anxiety. 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